Attack of the Mpregs
by we'regreat29
Summary: Sora took off running down the beach, leaving a heartbroken Riku sitting on the beach sobbing like a horseshoe crab in the desert. Sora protests mpregs


**So this is a challenge fic to make fun of the kh fandom, which of course we love to read, but even more we love to make fun of it. We really do support slash, AU, and even OoC, but for the purpose of this fanfiction, we have to criticize it. However, we DO NOT support mpregs, no matter what, BY ANY MEANS. They're just something else entirely. No offence to all mpreg supporters, even though theres only like 4, but THERE ARE NO SUCH THNG AS MPREGS. Alright thanks, -1- 'n we out.**

Sora "Insert-clever-last-name-here" was tired. He was tired of mpregs, he was tired of slashtastic fanfiction, and he was definitely tired of AUs. Obvs, his BFF Riku "Equally-clever-last-name" was tired as well. He was bored of having random sexual relations with random OCs, as well as Naminé, Squall (Bee tee dubbs, Squall was freaking tired of people calling him 'Leon') and Axel. And lastly, Goofy was tired of not getting any action; he didn't even care if it was boyxboy. Actually, JK, he didn't want a lemon with Donald.

Anywho, Sora wanted to be paired with someone balln. Not Riku, not evilbitch!Kairi, not Le- Squall, and deff. not Roxas. (Eww! Twincest!)

TRY TWO:

Anywho, Sora decided he was going to write a fanfiction. Not just any fanfic, but a super AU, OoC, slashtastic, lemonylime fluffer-nutter. So he took out his 1963 Remington & Sons typewriter and thus began to write:

"Hey everyone! Sora here! I'm fixin' to be sixteen, and I'm in love with my best friend, Riku. Shh! Don't tell him! I don't want him to hate me! It's just that everytime I look into those blue/green/aquamarine/debatably colored eyes, I melt. I just melt."

Just then, Riku waltzed in.

"Sora, what are you doing!? Are you writing about how sexy I am? AGAIN?" said Riku with his trademark smirk.

"Ri-kuuuuu! No way, josé! I'm writing a fanfiction, protesting the overused… use of mpregs." Sora retorted with a pout.

"Sora, you're scaring me. You're getting too into character here…real men do NOT POUT.""I know, and it's gotten out of control! OUR FANDOM HAS GOTTEN OUT OF CONTROL." Sora exclaimed.

"Sora, but Soriku sounds absolutely fabbers!"

"Riku, even YOU'VE been brainwashed! I bet you've already been mpregged! You're awful!" Sora began writing again:

"Little did Sora know, Riku was very sensitive to the topic of mpregs. As a child, he was subject to daily yaoi scenes. He did get some mpreg action unfortunately. This is why Riku was filled to the brim with angst. He was always moping around like a moping thing, occasionally having a mansex adventure from time to time to satisfy his never yielding sexual desire (That's right, I wrote that.)"

Riku, reading over Sora's shoulder, laughed.

"Sora, I totally do NOT act like that, and I did not get mpregged! … When did that even become a word?" said Riku.

"Dude, this is FANFICTION, you didn't really get mpregged. Though you do angst around a lot."

"Fair enough. But then you have to let me write some." So Riku began writing.

"Riku and Sora were beeeeest friends, and Riku loved the boy, but he had so many manwhores that he couldn't be tied down. It probably came from his troubled past; mpregs and shota could really cause some serious angst. Anyway, one day the two potentially gay friends were sitting on the beach, staring out at the ocean, when Riku decided to just let loose.

"Sora, I love you!" he proclaimed proudly.

"That's great Riku, I've always loved you too!" Sora said smiling happily. So the two spent the rest of the day having mansex!"

Sora read with a skeptical expression. "There's no drama, Riku. Try again."

TRY TWO (#2):

"Anyway, one day the two potentially gay friends were sitting on the beach, staring out at the ocean, when Riku decided to just let loose.

"Sora, I love you!" he proclaimed proudly.

"Weird. I'm straight. Dash one dash," Sora took off running down the beach, leaving a heartbroken Riku sitting on the beach sobbing like a horseshoe crab in a desert."

"Riku, what the fuck does … 'dash one dash' mean?"

"You know."

"No, I don't. Try again."

TRY FUCKING THREE.

"Riku had admired Sora from afar for the longest time. He was like an angel, with his porcelain skin that Riku simply ached to touch, and eyes so blue that they pierced right through him. The minute that he saw the boy, he wanted to ravish him right there.

However, as far as Riku knew, Sora wasn't gay. At least, Riku hadn't seen any signs of it as of yet.

One day, after gym class, Sora had to stay late to talk to the gym teacher. Riku took his time changing, purposefully letting some of his books spill out of his bag so he could stay behind. He stooped down to pick them up, smiling slightly when he saw another pair of hands helping him.

"Riku, right?" said Sora, cocking his head to the side while handing Riku his math textbook.

"Right," Riku said, staring into his eyes. Sora blushed after a few moments, looking away. Riku took this as a good sign.

"Well, I better get going…"said Sora, quickly standing up. Riku, however, grabbed the front of his shirt, tugging him down until their lips met.

Sora froze, shocked. Riku deepened the kiss, and Sora, regaining his composure, started to get into it as well, passionately grabbing his--"

"RIKU! THAT'S ENOUGH! WHAT THE FUUUUCK!" Sora bristled (what?).

"You told me to write an intense scene!" Riks exclaimed.

"But not to get me mpregged in it! I thought we were PROTESTING, not ADVERTISING!"

Riku laughed. "Dude, you can't get mpregged by KISSING. Unless theres something I don't know?"

Sora smiled cheekily. "Well, we'll never find out if we don't try, right?" he said, and with that, leapt across the table and onto Riku's face.

And they both got mpregged.

And that's that.


End file.
